Just when you think that it can’t get any crazier at Bumper’s landing, the annual Halloween party rears its’ ugly head!
This year’s theme: The Purge
| “ | “This is not a test.
This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when The Purge concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.” |
” |
| — Purge Emergency Broadcast System | ||
Set in an Dystopian America where literally, anything can and does happen, it took what was a normal, (crazy) Bumper’s crowd, and amped it up even more.
The idea of The Purge is that people bottle up and save any aggression, emotion and anger that they have for their fellow mankind, and release it “legally”, in one, twelve hour period where all laws are rendered null and void.
If you ask me, it pretty much “business as usual” at Bumper’s Landing, in Harrison Township.
Carl and I got there even earlier than we usually do on this particular evening. What we know for sure, is that we never know what to expect.
Ever.
The staff at Bumper’s does an amazing job at whatever they put their minds to, and apparently they went full Cronenberg on decorations this year. (it’s a Sci-Fi reference).
The place looked like something that was about to be overrun by a wild, lawless hoard, bent on twelve decadent hours of destruction and depravity. (Which, oddly enough was not too far from the truth).
Our job was to guide the unsuspecting populous through the night, to a safe haven on the other side of midnight.
It wouldn’t be easy.
There were ghosts, goblins, werewolves, and vampires awaiting every misstep. And that was just the “old Skool” monsters.
Now you have zombies, and twilights and anarchists. It used to be one lonely, misunderstood alien or mummy who would land outside of town, abduct one beautiful damsel, and have to fight off the small-town sheriff. Pretty lame compared to an entire night of panic and mass-debauchery.
Times were simpler then. You could play all the old classic, scary songs like The Monster Mash, Ghostbusters and Werewolves of London. That would get a rise out of all those little vampires and vampirellas.
Now we have to Purge and Thrill and Saw to get everyone’s blood boiling.
It’s fine, if anything, Carl and I can adapt. So we started fast and loud and heavy. It was nearly the Season Of The witch, and we were about to get this cauldron started for good.
Since they seemed to bite one that, we played a few Bumper’s standards until it was time to admit, I Put A Spell On You!
Beginning at 8:00, we were able to watch pretty much all of the ghosts and guests arriving. Trouble is, since The Purge had begun, most of our guests had donned their masks already.
No one had to tell any of the huge crowd that they had twelve hours to go crazy; apparently that information had already gotten out. There were dancers and guns, singers and hand grenades. Mugatu was out cutting a rug, while dinosaurs, once a agin roamed the Earth. It was just that kind of night.
While Purgers were Purging, (as they usually do), a lot of the patrons opted to done a more intrinsic type of Halloween regalia. Cowboys and Indians. Sexy doctors and sexier nurses. Princes and Princesses. There were Devils and Angels, Cops and Robbers. There were even many celebrities appearences such as Elvis, Donald Trump, Little red riding Hood and Brett Michaels.
They were overrunning the place, it seemed.
We did what we could. We played Ghostbusters, and still they came. We Didn’t Fear The Reaper and still they came. We changed our Evil Ways and that didn’t work.
There was a Bad Moon Risin’ and it was too late for us all. All that we could do was to give in to the anarchy.
We played a third and forth and fifth and even a sixth, unprecedented hour of music and aural mayhem. Finally, just as Carl and I were about to succumb . . .
The lights went on and beat back the beasts from the battered door.
We were saved!
We had survived the night to once again walk in the light of day!
Not really sure how we did it. Could have been the Music, or the lights or the food or It Could Have Been The Whiskey . . . .
No one really will ever know for sure.
The long night was over.
People were once again cordial and kind to one another.
. . . but, only one full moon away from complete and utter madness!
Rb
